Creating Your Wedding Guest List
Creating your wedding guest list is often the first thing you will start your wedding planning with, however it can also be the part of planning that gives you the biggest headache! It would be nice if you could just write a list of everyone you want at your wedding and stop there, but we all know its usually not that simple. There will always be pressure from family members to invite certain people, and of course there is the worry of potentially upsetting anyone too. Whilst it’s almost impossible to avoid these issues, whether you’re planning a huge wedding or a more intimate affair, hopefully these tips will help you gain confidence in your guest list.
1- Before you start your list, have a think about the type of wedding you want and what your budget is. The guest list is one of the things that eat up the biggest chunk of your budget. The more guests you have, the more your wedding will cost. So have a think about your budget first, as this will determine how frugal you need to be with how many people you invite.
2- Once you have a rough idea of how many guests you want, put that to the back of your mind initially, then write down absolutely everyone you could possibly invite to your wedding. It’s much easier to create a huge list and then start taking people off it. You can create different hierarchies of lists, for example a list of people that you absolutely want at the wedding (A list), and another for people you are ‘not as desperate’ to have (B list)! This way when you start looking for venues and work out your budget, you will know the minimum amount of guests you want, then if budget and space allows you can carry some guests over from the B list to the A list. The easiest way to do this is using an Excel spreadsheet, but of course pen and paper will do just fine!
3- Keep your immediate family in the loop, especially parents. Of course this isn’t essential, but this will avoid any potential friction, and they can also help you whittle down your list too. At the end of the day, the decision is yours, but it can really help to get an outside perspective too.
4- Take an ‘all or nothing’ approach when it comes to narrowing down your choices. This is the best way to avoid any hurt feelings. For example, if you have a lot of cousins, decide whether you can invite them all, or none at all. If you start picking and choosing which ones can come and which ones cant it may cause some upset, whereas if none are invited then it softens the blow a bit! Likewise if you would rather not have children at your wedding, try not to make any exceptions as this will no doubt cause some annoyance for those guests who couldn’t bring their children. Set rules and stick to them.
5- Get rid of those ‘plus ones’! If you’re struggling for space on your list, consider removing plus ones. If your uncle has a new girlfriend that you haven’t even met, would it be the end of the world if she didn’t get an invite? You could make it so no one at all has a plus one, or alternatively work out where you will draw the line. For example, if they are married they can come, if not then politely request they attend alone. This method can potentially be a little controversial between family members so work out where your priorities lie.
6- Don’t feel obligated to invite someone just because they invited you to their wedding or because they are making you feel guilty for not inviting them. Your true friends and family would be disappointed but understanding, whereas those who make you feel guilty are not worth it!
If you are still struggling to decide, here are some really great flow charts I have found online to help you consider your options!
